Out of Stock – The Revenge

Would you believe I have to continue on this subject? Led into thinking that my car’s tires were of uncommon design or dimensions, I celebrated (too soon!) when the second place I called told me that they got two tires and could replace my “not road worthy” worn-out tires the same day. Too busy at work, I didn’t ask for a quote, and too scared that nobody else has the tires available in stock, I drove to the “shark” nest! They made me pay $118 for each tire, which are so small and thin, you could not tell if they are for a Suzuki Alto or a bike. The pressure of limited stock made me accept to pay this ridiculous price, but I learnt a lesson. More than in the States, you have to shop around in Oz. And you cannot wait until the last minute to buy anything. Literally. I called them sharks because not only they ripped me off with the price, but they tried to talk me into buying two more tires. I let the guy play his part, explain why it’s better to change all four in the same time, etc. Then I informed him that at $118 a tire, I will not even think about it. It may not be any different in the States, thus the “sticker shock,” but where the Aussie frills come in is the shop closing at 5 during the week and taking the last appointment at 4, and with way to many free workers sitting on tires at 4 and I drive in to have my car fixed. They look like the guys who close the shop at 5:01PM and for whom the liquor shop is actually open every day until 9PM… Or anyway, that is what comes to my mind when they overcharge me and make me leave my work early to have my car fixed…

Out of Stock

Car tires, furniture, clothes and shoes in the right size, cars, school uniforms, plane tickets, you name it, it's out of stock in Oz. The more you need it, the faster you need it, etc, etc, the more likely you are to hear "sorry, this item is out of stock." That's bad news also because to get it back in stock, it often takes weeks or months. Concrete examples now. When we moved here and shopped around to buy a car, besides the exorbitant, tax-overloaded car prices, the empty stock of cars also limited our buying options. Most cars we wanted were out of stock, although one of each was available on the floor of the respective dealerships to test drive. We could not wait for the car to be delivered, because we had no other car. So in the end we had no choice, bought the one car that was available… Last week-end we wanted to buy an armchair. Again, the ones we liked and wanted were out of stock. Yes, we could wait, but when were told that the object would be delivered in 9 to 11 weeks from China, we simply gave up. Final example. Last week I found out that I had to get the wheels aligned on my car and replace one very worn out tire. I went yesterday to a place specialized in tires and alignment, but heard the same story: we're out of stock! If I wanted to order them via the dealer, it would take four weeks. So off I go, calling all places I can, hopefully I can have the job done in a few days. I wish tires were like candy (called lollies in Oz). Look at the stock of candy in today’s picture! I guess they never run out of stock…

Research Grants

I will post today a sarcastic description of the research year in Oz. With the summer extending from December until March, and with Christmas and New Year's Eve happening in the heart of the summer, pretty much all January is a month of vacation, or the equivalent of the European August. Everyone goes on vacation and research is at its lowest point. Nevertheless, the largest governmental body giving funds for research (health and medicine), aka NHMRC, schedules the only one deadline for grant submissions at the end of February/beginning of March. This does not deter researchers from relaxing in fun places; it just annoys them by forcing them to also think of grants, maybe even start preparing them... And yes, you heard (read) it well; there is only one deadline a year, only one round of applications submitted, and one round of grant reviews and financing. For a country as small as Oz, this translates into a review crisis. Your direct collaborators cannot review your grant (conflict of interest), and of those who are in the field besides you and your collaborators, now they have to review all grants that are submitted in a year in that area of research. Reviewer exhaustion I call it. This leads to a grant being reviewed by a postdoc who has little experience in the field, or by someone who has so little experience in the field, they don't understand what you are talking about. They will ask some questions and you will send a rebuttal, but in the end that’s not taken into consideration and the recommendation for funding will go to another grant. Let's pretend you got a grant though. If you didn't, you'd need to wait for another whole year to apply and by then you may already be fired (sorry, this word is not used here; what they say is "your contract is not being renewed" and since everyone is on a contract, it really, honestly means that you are fired). My description would be too short. The happy scenario in which you got a grant continues with you paying a postdoctoral fellow a salary so good they will never want to leave your lab to be independent. Basically, double the salary of an American postdoc and you know the number of dollars an Aussie postdoc makes. And double also their days of vacation! The postdoc then will go on to have a baby, because the institution will keep her job for a year and will pay her the salary for at least 3 months. But you don't publish papers this year without a postdoc, and the cycle of grant applications is on again. OMG! The reviewers who are really not so able to review your grant but can count your papers will be stuck at zero, you will not get funded and you have looped back to the sad scenario: your contract is not being renewed! Sorry!