Monday, August 6, 2012

Vulnerability of an Eternal Foreigner

I am in the middle of a personal debate about the theme of my blog. As post 100 is fast approaching and I am content to have written at a steady pace for as many days, I am trying to decide what I want to do with this blog. So far, I achieved my goal of developing a writing habit. But should I carry on and filter the material periodically so I can prepare a book in parallel? It would be a book about my attempts to adaptation into yet another new country. I am a professional foreigner with an addiction to adventure, but also a committed writer who searches for a theme or a stable ground. Being a foreigner makes me feel vulnerable. I need to learn new words, get accustomed to new behaviors and stop judging the present based on past experiences. But I am not so young and I do experience a sort of rigidity, I forget to be tolerant, oh, and I struggle... And you see it in this blog, where I point out things that seem just routine to others, from other countries or those who have never been foreigners for more than a holiday, and then I realize that and I feel guilty for pointing out things that are "normal". But for me it's always the point of view, like with the flower in today's picture. From my perspective, the flower stands out on a creamy green background. From the flower's perspective, it stands among her own kind... Should I continue writing for a few more years, like in a properly set-up experiment, and then see how adapted I am, how less vulnerable and how much "at home" I feel? Would that tome of words make a good book (possibly) or just a therapeutic cycle?

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